Sunday, November 26, 2006

Spin in the Teacup with Alice

Bah. I’m miserable, mostly because I am not miserable. It appears happiness and contentment tends to stifle the imagination causing the creative juices to coagulate and refuse to flow freely. The brain atrophies, slowly choking off the oxygen supply to the inspiration center of the brain. It becomes near impossible to achieve the necessary levels of outrage, derision and malevolence required.

So, somewhere along the perimeter of this vicious circle I find myself miserable, because I am not miserable.

Strange things begin to happen when you remove strife, struggle, and distress from your life. Eliminate the desperate need for something better and rather than be left with a void slowly filling with happiness and joy you have an aching, empty hole hungry for heartache. You are left in an inexplicable state of abject contentment.
My perceptions have become so distorted, so excessively perverted; I can almost no longer recognize the wretchedness of the human condition. A self-serving, self-proclaimed misanthrope lacking angst, derision, and disdain? How disgraceful.

It really is my own fault. I should have seen it coming, but I permitted myself to have a minor lapse in judgment. I allowed the crafty harlot to sneak up on me. I never saw her, or the rose coloured glasses, coming.

For those of you unfamiliar with rosy-red spectacles and the changes they bring, let me assure you it is frightening and disconcerting. The flocks of sheep milling about the city centers begin to look like real people, complete with real feelings, dreams, hopes, and aspirations. The boss develops significant meaning for his actions above simply attempting to make your life unbearable. Earthquakes and the like that occur a vast distance away are of little importance. After all, they happened a vast distance away. Pestilence and famine appear to be trivial details, minor problems that will obviously be overcome momentarily through proper planning and well constructed aid programs. The woes of the world are insignificant, we have governments with our best interests a heart and they are toiling tirelessly through the night to ensure that tomorrow is a better day. You can sleep well at night knowing that when you awaken we will be one step closer to utopia, and through no actual effort of your own. Yes, the rose coloured glasses are a wonderful accessory, but they do very little for blocking out blindingly bright light.

Darling, I love you, and I know you like them, but really they make it difficult to see where I am going. So I am going to be forced to take them off before I bump into something dangerous and hurt myself or, worse yet, someone else. My newfound conscience couldn’t handle that. Thus, I shall auction them off on E-bay, or simply trade them off on a pair of dark sunglasses.

7 Comments:

Blogger Hermes said...

If you think the grass is greener on the other side I'd be more than happy to piss on it.

Glad to have you writing again in all of your misanthropic glory.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Princess Alice said...

I do like the rose colored glasses.
On me.
Rose has never really been your color.

10:52 AM  
Blogger mcbickle said...

nothing has ever been the same since i found out pee is sterile.

10:22 PM  
Blogger extraspecialbitter said...

Utopia is a parkway in Queens.

9:13 PM  
Blogger Critical Darling said...

Oh come on. There can't be that little to say. At least tell us how the sex is.

10:34 AM  
Blogger darkmuze said...

"It appears happiness and contentment tends to stifle the imagination causing the creative juices to coagulate and refuse to flow freely. The brain atrophies, slowly choking off the oxygen supply to the inspiration center of the brain. It becomes near impossible to achieve the necessary levels of outrage, derision and malevolence required."

Man I totally emphatized with that. I lose any ounce of creativity without insanity and I'm left wondering if I'm better without hope.

You know I've always been a fan of your writing, so don't make me wait too long for your next post. Please.

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

still happy then?

It' only transitory: you may console yourself with that.

3:00 PM  

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