Thursday, September 22, 2005

Mahjongg and Mabon

'Tis a day to frolick. A favorite pasttime of Neopaganists everywhere. What better excuse can you have to dance in the moonlight than the Autumnal Equinox? Build a bonfire, bang a drum, find someone to play the pan flute, and rejoice in the wonders of nature. The Japanese, at least, fully comprehend the importance of such a day. They decided it should be a national holiday.

Which seems odd - I don't normally view them as a society predisposed to dancing wildly and freely frolicking in the woods.

Frivolous frolicking. Fun in the forest. Fanatics spouting rhetoric about the celestial importance of the day as they desperately try to tap Mother Nature's power. Capricious cavorting throughout the woodlands. Naked. Closer to nature. Giving yourself over to the spirits of the wild. Oh, to find that center point within. To feel balanced and together. Relaxed tension and balanced focus. And to feel the connection to everyone. To be one conciousness.

Blessing from the Cauldron of Ceridwen. Ecstacy of the Spirit.

Turn East - Call to the Winds.
Turn South - Call to the Flames.
Turn West - Call to the Rains.
Turn North - Call to the Stones.

Consider the possible,
Explore the probable,
and question the truth.

Blessed be and Divine do.

All that dies shall live again.

Oh Good Lord and Lady... It's an outdoor Rave gone awry. An excuse for the bored, the lost, and the lonely to gather about and roast marshmallows while watching the firelight flicker over the glistening nakedness of their fellow free spirits. Feel the love. Give in to it. It is the will of The Mother.

Our hearts beat in unison. You can't deny the power of this night. Cast aside your inhibitions. Embrace the balance.

Embrace me.

Smoke your weed.
Lines of cocaine in the car.
Tabs of acid make their rounds.
The group in the back has 'Shrooms.
Who brought the ecstacy?

Chemically imbalanced with a muddled mind.

Yes, you fraudulent frolicking fuck - I can feel it too.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Keep it Simple, Stupid.


Life, generally is a series of up and down. Occasionally things tend to array themselves in such a way that you begin to think there is no possible way things can work out badly. This is usually followed by an extended duration for which you feel you are plummeting endlessly on the Drop of Doom. May as well give in to the despair and ride it out. There's little you can do about it anyway. Once you reach the bottom you can content yourself with digging futilely to tunnel your way out. Yet another pointless endeavour, except perhaps to pass the time until it begins it slow, exonerable rise back upwards.

I've been digging for two weeks. This ride had better start heading up soon, or I fear someone may get hurt.

Someone stupid.

Which wouldn't be a real great loss. After all there are oodles of stupid people wandering about. Most of them wouldn't be missed. Well, maybe for a brief moment, but I'm sure a few minutes would be long enough for the world to grieve and get on with things.

I'm talking those disturbing cretins that just ooze incompetence and ineptitude in a S-M-R-T like hammer type way. They open their mouth to speak and you cringe instinctively awaiting the next great deluge of nonsense and foolishness. They are repugnant and they have a certain way of making a mockery of humanity without even trying. And usually are adept at being arrogant about it. Persistent and insistent Idiot Savant's with an insatiable, esurient taste for ignorance. I fear I've encountered some of their elite - The Marquis' of the Rude, Arrogant, and generally Intolerable. And now I'm tempted to load the whole lot into some giant camion and drive the bloody thing straight into the abyss.

They started out as your basic garden variety nuisances. They quickly evolved into bothersome beasts which, in turn, developed into great repugnant blathering demons set forth upon the earth with only one purpose.

To ruthlessly hunt me down and try my patience.

They've done it well. Very well, in fact, and I really must offer them a small amount of respect. No one has ever managed to try it so very well. So well that over the course of the last two weeks I have become relatively familiar with a concept that I never fully understood before - The concept of stress. Previously it had remained a perfectly vague illness that stuck other people. Stress, to me, was something to avoid at all costs. Up until now I had managed to be rather successful. As usual it was only a matter of time before the gods descended and decided amongst their malevolent selves that I had been getting off just a smidge to easily in their little game of life.

So. Like. What now? Dude.

Well, apparently due to people asking so politely and multi-lingually, I write and hope that perhaps it all gets a wee bit better. Which, all things considered, is quite possibly not a completely terrible idea. Which means that perhaps, just perhaps, I haven't been completed tainted by my surroundings. Thank the Holy for that. And I do believe it does seem to be working. Already I'm feeling slightly more... me. Tempted to get up and wander down to the local club, purchase myself a $4.00 for 3 weeks membership, and see if their is any truth to the old saying "misery loves company".

Or I suppose I could just grab a beer, bury the patheticness in this little hole I've managed to create since I reached rock bottom, and babble on in relatively incoherent patterns. Or just sit back, relax, and remember the words of wisdom "This too shall pass." Content myself with knowing that in four days I can unwind at home and focus on regrounding myself and, as they say, "Sort myself out" before facing another period of exile in the Artic Prison Camp.
I must say that the thought of sorting this mess out frightens me. I can only assume that if I begin toying with all these frayed strings that the damn thing may unravel completely. Which is to say that I don't think it has already. But then again I am usually quite delusional.
Oh, and once I get everything back on even keel, I fully plan on spending five days unfocusing and ungrounding myself.

For my birthday.


So if you would all be so kind as to book your tickets now, I promise to break down and buy a round.

I'm sure it will make me feel better.

All's I can say now is "Thank Buddha everything always works out in the end."

So, for purely entertainment value I present Vex's Modified Commandments:

1) Thou shalt not ask stupid questions. (And yes "How many quarters in a football game?" qualifies)
2) Thou shall endeavour to the utmost of your ability attempt to solve your own insignificant problems such as which toothpaste to purchase before seeking assistance.
3) Thou shall venture forth in mechanical transportation devices only when you have adequate monetary units for fuel to successfully traverse the distance between point "A" and point "B". (Thou shall also ensure that these monetary units are accepted at a variety of gasoline vendors. Dumbass Denny's Discount Diesel cards are not widely accepted.)
4) Thou shall learn the meaning of "Jerry Can."
5) Thou shall remember the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The other two directions are north and south.
6) Thou shalt not ever utter the words "Hey, Does this look contagious to you?" to anyone except your medical praticioner.
7) Thou shall refrain from asking anyone to drive 666 miles to drop off $125.00 so your insignificant other can pay off the electric bill. Especially the day after payday, and doubly especially at 3:30 in the morning. Look up Western Union or Wal-Mart Moneygram's. Many are open 24 hours. And charge less than I do for fuel and stupidity.
8) Thou shall ask me to drop off your laundry, go shopping, or cook meals only if you are willing to pay the 417% "Do I look like your mother?" service charge. Unless you are relatively attractive in which case the fee may be waived.
9) Thou shalt not play poker, or partake in any other form of gambling unless you are willing and able to lose.
10) Thou shall believe Dr. Vex when he tells you something is impossible. Unless, of course, you are willing to donate a suitably sized "tithe" to make it worth his while.

But for now ya'll have to excuse me. I think I hear a cowbell.
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